I was sitting in my study the other day, counting the profits from my numerous copper mines in South America, and in the mists of curling cigar smoke and in between the sounds of squeaking leather and the swishing of brandy a thought occurred to me: Robots.
Yes that’s right robots. Now I know what you’re thinking dear reader, “Why would this obviously well to do business man that turns a profits from the less fortunate natives of uncivilized countries, that oppresses the masses through hazy back room deals with governments, and sits atop his spire looking down at the world and laughing, why would he be thinking about robots?” Well I will tell you, at great risk to my personal safety. That’s right dear reader I will be the whistle blower. I will expose the circuitous plans of the power elite.
That plan, as I have stated is robots. At first they will be benign; robots that help you do chores, that walk your dog, and robots with which you can entertain your most depraved sexual fantasies with. This is step one, a step which as we speak is in action. Step two is far more devious and will be undertaken to two phases. Phase one: kill drones, robots for national security, robots that kill foreign “terrorists”. This too is already in effect, but it is Phase Two which will be the nail in your underprivileged coffins. Kill drones for domestic “terrorists”, Kill drones for everyone and everything. Kill drones that kill. It will be under the guise of a so called “robot revolution”. This will obviously lead to the extermination of the lower class (minus, of course, a few choice females which are deemed worthy of breeding), and the ruling elites will be free to reproduce and spread their seed across the world, enjoying a life free from toil and the disgusting stench of the sweat the working man leaves on this planet.
Why have I told you this? Why when it would seemingly benefit me to let this diabolical plan come to fruition? Well I have discovered an even more sinister plot devised by those more elite than I which will separate the elites left after the robot revolution into elite elites and just regular elites to create a ruling-working elite class and a ruling-ruling elite class. Then under the guise of a “cephalopod revolution” exterminate the ruling-working elite class thus starting the cycle over again.
Yes dear reader, it is not the elites who are your enemies it is the combined forces of robots and cephalopods that seek to destroy everything we have fought so hard for. Do not place your energies into defeating the corporations; do seek to dethrone the kings of new. No! Seek out and destroy all robots and cephalopods and all robot and cephalopod look-a-likes for they may just be robots and cephalopods in disguise. To arms ye noble savages, with sword and valor destroy all Johnny 5’s and smite all cuttlefish.
Sincerely,
J. Arthur Reginald III Paranoid-Schizophrenic Extraordinaire
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