On Love and Chimpanzees

The most irresponsible thing a man can do is give a chimpanzee crystal meth and a hand gun. The second most irresponsible thing a man can do is wield a philosophy he does not fully understand. I will be doing the latter, and maybe the former if I can get my hands on a chimp.

Fear not George, love is only as real as the word love, which is not very real at all. Considering it is nothing but a sign of sorts that can really only be defined by its foil...umm heartbreak, yeah we'll go with that. Not only that but these definitions are constantly changing. Unfortunately, you seem to be basing your definition on very romantic ideals brought about by the rise of the English novel. Possibly a tool to keep the masses down? I'll let you make your own decision on that. Lucky for you George, intrepid traveler of the human heart, the very definition of love could change depending on what summer blockbusters are popular, and who wins Rock of Love (I really hope it's the slutty one that stands next to the whorey one). The next rising of the sun could see love as nothing more than sex, which would be fortunate for your fuck love outlook.

Not only that, my Rachmaninoff loving friend, love can really be broken down into nothing more than a complex series of chemical reactions in the brain. Purely an evolutionary response that could indicate you've found a female that would be an adequate receptacle for your genetic seed. This, again, is good news for you as there are literally billions of women in the world. That makes it statically impossible for you not to find an appropriate mate to procreate with and spend you winter years with sipping iced tea on the veranda. Not to mention the fact that chemical reactions in the brain can easily be altered. I'll give you the name of my meth connection.

You see George love doesn't really exist. And for that matter neither does heartbreak. And for that matter there really is nothing but good news for you. All you need to do is change the word games you play. Now I'm going to give Bo-Bo a heaping pile of methamphetamines and grandpa's old .38. Then I'll sit with her on the veranda with a glass of whiskey.