I'm ragged. I'm running on an hour of sleep, the only thing I've eaten all day is two bananas, and my emotions are shattered. I don't feel like doing anything. No, guys, it's not because of depression, elephantitis, drug withdrawal, or lack of getting laid. It's because of love.
Fuck this. Love. What the hell am I talking about, anyways? Fuck love. I don't need nobody, I'm perfectly fine by myself, I'm self-sufficient, I don't need anybody...
... but she's so pretty and nice and
SHUT THE FUCK UP GEORGE. Listen to yourself, for Christ's sake! Do you hear the garbage coming out of your mouth? Don't you feel your testicles retracting? Don't you think that this is a little too much, all for just a female member of the human species...
... but she's so smart and beautiful and I think she's perfect and
AWEFJOSJDFGJAEWF. Enough! What about her turns my mind to mush, sends shivers up my spine and tightens my skin and raises my hair, emasculates me, weakens me, strengthens me, brings me to my knees (that's what she said) and makes me so happy and sad at the same time? What do I want? Why do I feel this? Why her? Or, more importantly, why me?
Fuck love.
You know, no matter how many times I say "fuck love," I never really believe it. Perhaps I'm nothing more than just a sentimental pussy. Here's some Rachmaninoff.
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what you wrote reminds me of a poem by Catullus...
ReplyDeletethe translation is here:
Unhappy Catullus, cease your trifling and what you see lost, know to be lost. Once bright days used to shine on you when you used to go wherever your girl led you, loved by us as never a girl will ever be loved. There those many joys occured which you did wish, nor was the girl unwilling. In truth bright days used once to shine on you. Now she no longer wants you: you too, powerless to avail, must not want her, do not pursue her retreating, do not live unhappy, but with firm-set mind endure, harden yourself. Farewell, girl! now Catullus hardens himself, he will not seek you, will not ask you since you are unwilling. But you will be pained, when you are not asked. Faithless, go your way! what manner of life remains to you? who now will visit you? who find you beautiful? whom will you love now? whose will you be called? whom will you kiss? whose lips will you bite? But you, Catullus, remain firm in your hardness.
though he tells himself to be hard against her, he can't stop obsessing over her (questions at the end)
-Radha
Love is not something you can deny although sometimes it hides on your back and there's no way for you to catch it. Still, it comes in so many shapes, colours, sizes and tipes, you might as well look around and find love in any shape.
ReplyDeleteEven when the one you want is hard to find, it will come to you in the end.
You tought me a great deal about it a loooong time ago